My Adoption Agencies

The decision for a woman to place her child up for adoption is a very difficult and emotional one.  Birthmothers choose adoption for many reasons.  Some feel that they are not ready to handle the responsibility of becoming a parent, emotionally, financially or for other reasons.  Others wish to give their child more opportunities with a two-parent family and know that other family will be able to make the dreams that they have for the child become a reality.

There are three types of adoption that a birthmother can choose to go through.  These include closed, semi-open and open.

• Closed adoption – the birthmother never meets the adoptive family and in fact, knows nothing about them at all.

• Semi-open adoption – the birthmother gets to look at files about possible adoptive families and chooses the one that she wants to have the child.  She might meet the family during this process or she might not.  In either case, after the adoption takes place, there is no more contact.

• Open adoption - the birthmother will start out reviewing files again, but in this case, will choose families that she wants to meet with and will get a chance to “interview” them before a decision is made.  The two sides exchange full contact information and in many case, become almost an extended family as the birthmother may continue to have contact with the child and family after the adoption takes place.

There are also different types of agencies that a birthmother can choose to work with.  There are private agencies, as well as lawyer/facilitator adoptions.  There are two types of private agencies:

• Nonprofit agencies – this type of agency is a social service provider that chooses to work with pregnant women and facilitate adoptions in order to meet the needs of both the women and the children involved.  They will provide counseling, assistance in the selecting and placement process, etc.  In this situation, any profits received by the agency are used to continue to run the programs and provide services to other women and children.  However, as with any nonprofit, staff may be overworked and handling many cases at the same time.

• For-profit agencies – this type of agency provides the same services as a nonprofit agency, but profits are kept by the owners or officers of the company, rather than put back in to programs.  Staff may have lighter caseloads and more time to devote to each birthmother in the selection and placement process.  However, some birthmothers feel that they are arranging for the “sale” of their child in this situation.

In addition to private agencies, a birthmother can also work directly with a lawyer to find an adoptive family.

• Lawyer Adoption - in addition to handling the legal process and paperwork of an adoption, some lawyers choose to act as adoption brokers as well.  In this case, the lawyer works with the birthmother to advertise for families interested in adoption, assists in facilitating meetings between the two, and handles the agreement for financial assistance from the adoptive family to the birthmother.  The adoptive family would still need to work with an agency in order to complete the required home study process before placement, but the birthmother would likely not work with an agency.  This type of adoption can happen much more quickly than an agency adoption, but the mother may not receive the same level of counseling and supportive services.

When a family decides to adopt a baby, they must take responsibility for the majority of the expenses involved in the process.  A birthmother will typically need to pay for her own legal and medical expenses for the legal paperwork/hearing, prenatal care and delivery.  Each state has different laws about what type expenses the adoptive family can offer to pay.  In some cases, the adoptive family can choose to pay the legal and medical costs for her.  However, in no state, can the family give the birthmother anything that appears to be a reward for choosing them, such as paying for her schooling, buying her a car, paying her rent, etc. as that begins to look like the family is “buying” the baby or gaining an advantage over other adoptive families who might not be able to offer similar options.

A birthmother choosing adoption should speak with several agencies in order to find the one that best meets her needs and that “feels right” to her.  The adoption decision is one that will affect her for the rest of her life, so it is important to make sure the process goes smoothly and that she is comfortable with the people that are making it happen.

Many birthmothers receive referrals to agencies from their medical doctor or the clinic that confirms their pregnancy.  Others ask those that they know or do phone book or internet searches to find agencies in their area.  Once the mother has a list of possibilities, she can call each and set up an initial appointment.  She will likely meet with a social worker or intake professional at the agency that will explain the agency’s process, as well as answer questions that she has.

Adoption agencies are required to be licensed with the state, so birthmothers can also contact the relevant licensing board and check to make sure the agency hasn’t had any legal or ethics violations or complaints filed against them.

Finally, the birthmother can also ask to speak with birthmothers who have used the agency’s services in order to check references and find out about the experience that others had with the staff and the process of adoption.

For birthmothers choosing to work with a lawyer, the process will be essentially the same in that she will get referrals, conduct initial meetings, verify licensure, and check references.

The process of adoption can be a long and emotional one for a birthmother, but by following all the steps involved in seeking out an agency to assist her, she can be confident that the process will go as smoothly as possible for all involved.